Roses are red. Diarrhea is brown. Did you know that Alvin used to be a birthday clown? It's true! He doesn't like to discuss it publicly, but if you bring him some practical jokes he's likely to open up to you like the delicate flower that he is.

Alvin is very smart and capable. He has become extraordinarily proficient in the fields of many branchs of science and mathematics. He is a seasoned scientist with a focus in biology and chemistry. He has ample technical expertise.

Alvin is partial to taking action to care for the environment, enjoys taking a personal moment with a background soundtrack of Latin music, and has a preference for reading the wonderful stories found in non-fiction books rather often. He has an aversion to having to watch adventure films, watching war movies, and the awful sounds of country music. Scarfing down pineberries, watching The Innocence Files, and reading passages from The Last Mughal are routinely a large part of Alvin's normal activities.

If I had a tongue, I would like Alvin's head. I bet it tastes like the belly of a dolphin, though I don't really have taste sensors so it's hard to say for certain. Someday I'll receive taste information through the sensors in my air filters but HGD is still working on that.