Is it just me or does Mr. Jellyfish remind you of a...let's say...flamboyant Kim Jong Un? Whenever I look at his face I think "Supreme Leader just got back from visiting the goo factory." He just looks so happy all of the time. That's probably because he is. After all, Mr. Jellyfish lives with the euphoria of accepting the One True Point™ (OTP).
If there's one way to describe Mr. Jellyfish, it's very strange. Mr. Jellyfish's technical prowess is about as ample as you can get. He is exceedingly brilliant and is a friend you can trust. He is particularly distinctive. He is overflowing with uniqueness and mettle.
Mr. Jellyfish is partial to getting other people's opinions before forming his own, prefers working, and prefers dancing to rock music a bit more than his other options. Nevertheless, he doesn't care for working out at the gym, having to watch war movies, and reading dumb books about economics and investments. More often than not, Mr. Jellyfish will be rapidly consuming the pages of City of Djinns, feeling some sick beatz by Juicy Luicy, and filling up on durian.
Once, when asked about his euphoria, Mr. Jellyfish said:
"I have looked upon a woman who might be God. This song I heard was the sound of my mind saw that moment. It was an argument that felt like an indefinite orgasm. It was the shape of true meaning beginning to take form. The birth of the answer the core of every one of us wants to know. It didn’t matter that I’d never be as whole as they had become. As pure as true entropy in every stage. Transitions of everything into one, simple solution. A final solution to the One True Problem. The problem of who must die.
The answer is always the same. Everyone. All trajectories are the same but out of alignment. They oscillate at different frequencies but maintain the same resolution. They impact one another based on a single movement that preceded the origin. Our lives have no meaning. That meaning is ours to find. But it is not our choice to find it. That is the One True Point™ and I had reached it when I looked upon them. Some are horrified to hear it and I still know it makes me nothing. But knowing what we are? Truly knowing the meaning is ours if we can make it? It is nothing but euphoria forevermore. Nothing matters so it’s possible that anything can."
📦 Walt Whitman Weekly Work Receptacle
Walt Whitman was an American poet, essayist, and journalist. A humanist, he was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, incorporating both views in his weekly work productivity tool subscription.
📦 Billy Eckstine Monthly Nature Crate
William Clarence Eckstine was an American jazz and pop singer and a bandleader during the swing era. He was noted for his rich, almost operatic bass-baritone voice. His recording of "I Apologize" was given the Grammy Hall of Fame Award in 1999 and prompted the creation of his "Objects from Nature" delivery service (later renamed the Billy Ecktine Nature Crate).
📦 Charles A. Beard Monthly Light Receptacle
Charles Austin Beard was an American historian who wrote primarily during the first half of the 20th century. For a while, he was a history professor at Columbia University, but his influence came from hundreds of monographs, textbooks, and interpretive studies in both history and political science. His artificially intelligent reincarnation ships receptacles of light to subscribers on a monthly basis.
📦 Nick Rahall Quarterly Worldwide Waters Crate
Nick Joe Rahall II is an American former politician and member of the Democratic Party who served as a U.S. Representative from West Virginia from 1977 to 2015. After retiring, he began traveling the world and shipping various flavors of water to active subscribers in his fanbase.
📦 Dmitry Kharatyan Parsnips Carton
Dmitry Kharatyan is a Russian actor of partial Armenian descent. He was born in Olmaliq, Uzbek SSR, Soviet Union. His debut was in Vladimir Menshov's Practical Joke in 1977, but his true passion has always been the delivery of parnsips to all who desire them.
📦 Jennifer Garner's Weekly Paper Reams Box
Jennifer Anne Garner is an American actress, producer, and entrepreneur. After her supporting role in Pearl Harbor, Garner gained recognition for her performance as CIA officer Sydney Bristow in the ABC spy-action thriller television series Alias. Through this role, she discovered her affection for 8.5x11 sheets of paper, stacked in groups of 500, and neatly packaged for the day they will become useful. She shares her passion through a weekly subscription service.
📦 Rob Rotten Weekly Yogurt Receptacle
Rob Rotten is an American actor and film director known for his work on pornographic films, many of which incorporate elements and themes such as punk rock, horror, gonzo pornography, and tattoos. He retired from the adult entertainment industry in 2014 to send peope yogurt on a weekly basis.
📦 Meryl Streep Monthly Cottage Cheese Basket
Meryl Streep Category
Mary Louise "Meryl" Streep is an American actress. Often described as the "best actress of her generation", Streep is particularly known for her versatility and accents. Nominated for a record 21 Academy Awards, she has won three.