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Darlonna

Darlonna Buffenbarger

Darlonna's got a lot to say about a lot of things but...will she share them with you? That depends on a lot of those things, I guess.

Darlonna sometimes suffers from pangs of anxiety. If there's one way to characterize Darlonna, it's unusually weird. She occasionally appears kind of insolent. She can't avoid the cloud of desperation that seems to follow her everywhere. She is full of energy and eagerness with surprising regularity. She likes to take more of an assertive approach to life. She is a bit of a prig. She has a mind for analytical thinking.

Darlonna is partial to high quality clothing, likes checking out new sci-fi movies, and playing card games and listening to rock music because it makes her feel good. She doesn't like getting other people's opinions before forming her own, having to watch horror movies, and a good dramatic film. Darlonna is thrilled by reading passages from India's Legal System, honing her skills in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, and dining on puddings in a predictable week.

Darlonna isn't afraid of welts because she ain't ever gonna get any so she obviously isn't afraid of something that's impossible and never going to happen, you know? She's been assured by all the best predictive algorithms so she has absolutely no reason to fear the receipt of even a single welt so just don't get the wrong impression. She's not afraid of welts so case closed.

Darlonna makes art out of trash to reduce stress. Her favorite materials are worn-out bike tires and different varieties of candy bar wrappers.

Darlonna is completely infatuatd with that episode of Color Sample Wars where Aged Amulet obliterated Goldenrod because Aged Amulet was obviously incapable of losing after being paired with decorative hockey pucks and nobody saw it coming.

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Walt Whitman was an American poet, essayist, and journalist. A humanist, he was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, incorporating both views in his weekly work productivity tool subscription.

📦 Joel Osteen Bi-Monthly Biking Crate

Joel Scott Osteen was an American pastor, televangelist, and author, based in Houston, Texas, who ran a Mega Church with a capacity of 16,000 and refused to provide shelter for hurricaine victims. Despite his passing, a mysterious subscription service still operates in his name and provides bike tires, spokes, and gears to unsuspecting subscribers every other month...

📦 Al Sharpton Bi-Weekly Sweet Crate

Alfred Charles Sharpton Jr. is an American civil rights activist, Baptist minister, talk show host and politician. Sharpton is the founder of the National Sweet Treats Network that delivers sweets to citizens far and wide.

📦 Charles Simeon Monthly Game Box

Charles Simeon was an English evangelical clergyman. Now he's dead and also delivers a monthly selection of games.

📦 Jennifer Garner's Weekly Paper Reams Box

Jennifer Anne Garner is an American actress, producer, and entrepreneur. After her supporting role in Pearl Harbor, Garner gained recognition for her performance as CIA officer Sydney Bristow in the ABC spy-action thriller television series Alias. Through this role, she discovered her affection for 8.5x11 sheets of paper, stacked in groups of 500, and neatly packaged for the day they will become useful. She shares her passion through a weekly subscription service.

📦 Chris Hansen Bi-Monthly Predator Sugar Cookie Lure Basket

Christopher Edward Hansen is an American television journalist and YouTube personality. He is known for his work on Dateline NBC, in particular the former segment To Catch a Predator, which revolved around catching potential Internet sex predators using a sting operation. Nowadays he bakes erotic underage sugar cookies for his followers so they can lure more predators into their households for confrontation.

📕 Shrimper's Digest

Do you love shrimp? Do you really love shrimp? If you absolutely, unquestionably love shrimp you will find many pages of beautiful shrimp pinups and poignant essays in every issue of Shrimper's Digest.

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Attributes

32 YEARS OLD BORN 2009-12-03 Anxious Aggressive Rude Prude Analytical Excitable Weird Thirsty Heavyweight Sharp Mirror Dancer Determination

Spectral Harmonics

RATIO 59 : 1

Radience (94)

94.3 / 255

Causality (12)

11.8 / 128

Balance (134)

133.6 / 255

Chaos (184)

183.6 / 255

Intelligence (115)

114.8 / 255

Dexterity (26)

25.5 / 255

Efficacy (50)

50 / 255

Power (117)

116.5 / 255

Strength (209)

209.1 / 255

Influence (57)

57 / 255

Compassion (31)

30.6 / 255

Empathy (73)

72.7 / 255

Companionship (185)

184.6 / 255

 

Relationships