Chlora Schlotsky smells like garbage. I'm sorry, but there's just not another way to put it.
Chlora has various weird characteristics. She has a great deal of nerdy interests. She has a special and unique way about her. She doesn't seem to get the meaning of disclosing too much personal information. She just has some nasty odors (regarding her personal scent). She is just terribly awkward and uneasy. She has an abundance of personal vulnerabilities. She is highly opinionated and forthright. She has a little too much confidence.
Chlora likes getting other people's opinions before forming her own, rocking out to R&B music, and attending live events. She doesn't care for working out at the gym, being forced to hear the cacophany of country music, or reading dumb entertainment magazines. Customarily, Chlora is getting lost in the pages of Principles of Communication Systems, feeling some sick beatz by Anuel AA, and watching a screening of Heavyweights.
The weird thing about Chlora is everything, really, but I was going to specify that she actually doesn't seem to have any shame about her garbage life. In a way, that's almost admirable. There must be something to it because this girl is a player. She's banged more everything than anyone else on the floating island of Mountain Viewtopia. Did I say that right? I'm referring to sexual intercourse. She has a lot of it and she's very talented. She sort of has to be with that whole garbage smell.
📦 Thomas Heywood Quarterly Garbage Carton
Thomas Heywood was an English playwright, actor, and author. His main contributions were to late Elizabethan and early Jacobean theatre. His face now graces seasonal cartons of garbage that are conveniently delivered to people throughout Geodesia.
📦 Walt Whitman Weekly Work Receptacle
Walt Whitman was an American poet, essayist, and journalist. A humanist, he was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, incorporating both views in his weekly work productivity tool subscription.
📦 Orson Pratt Monthly Trash Crate
Orson Pratt Huish was a Latter Day Saint hymnwriter. He wrote the words and music to "Come Unto Jesus" and delivers trash to those who desire its presence.
📦 John Shelby Spong Quarterly Containers Receptacle
John Shelby "Jack" Spong is a retired bishop of the Episcopal Church. From 1979 to 2000, he was the Bishop of Newark, New Jersey and the man to see if you needed a container for any reason. Now he ships receptacles of containers to his subscribers.
📦 Jennifer Garner's Weekly Paper Reams Box
Jennifer Anne Garner is an American actress, producer, and entrepreneur. After her supporting role in Pearl Harbor, Garner gained recognition for her performance as CIA officer Sydney Bristow in the ABC spy-action thriller television series Alias. Through this role, she discovered her affection for 8.5x11 sheets of paper, stacked in groups of 500, and neatly packaged for the day they will become useful. She shares her passion through a weekly subscription service.
📦 Tom Cruise's Bi-Monthly Box o' Rice
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV is an American actor and producer. He has received various accolades for his work, including three Golden Globe Awards and three nominations for Academy Awards. Through his tireless efforts at the Church of Scientology, he works to bring bi-monthly rice to all who are willing to renounce the Church of Corn and devote themselves to Dianetics.
📕 Raccoon's For the Love of Garbage
June Publications brings you the ultimate trash magazine for raccoons and other garbage lovers. You'll find endless pages of garbage in every issue. Page 49 always includes a scratch-n-sniff puzzle!
📕 Shrimper's Digest
Do you love shrimp? Do you really love shrimp? If you absolutely, unquestionably love shrimp you will find many pages of beautiful shrimp pinups and poignant essays in every issue of Shrimper's Digest.
