Oh, this bitch. How this man calls himself a Christian is beyond me. He thinks he can talk to Jesus through a smartphone app. He only loves his kids if they act according to his precise behavioral standards. Go read about his wife, Soulstice Galloway. Find out how that love fest happened. It's almost infuriating that his kids are two of the most important people in the history of Mountain Viewtopia. But Sakenomi's plan isn't inhibited by silly emotions. Mountain Viewtopia requires the people it requires in order to remain on a steadfast path toward the One True Point™ (OTP). It just sucks that Eugene had to be involved.

Eugene is proud of his intelligence. Eugene's trust in laws and regulations is firm and abiding. He has a secure sense of faith in the metaphysical. He exhibits domineering behavior. He has a knack for the fields of many branchs of science and mathematics. He is sort of clumsy. He has survived something pretty terrible.

Eugene loves streaming movies inspired by history, enjoys checking out new sci-fi movies prefers, and has taken an interest in rocking out to Latin music. He doesn't care for keeping up with the latest trends and styles, listening to country music, or reading stupid autobiographical material. In particular, diving into the wonderful world of Python for Data Analysis, entertaining himself with a game of Ulm, and watching Dead Like Me make up a significant part of Eugene's routine.

Just because Eugene is such a class act, I thought I'd share some very important facts about him. First, as a child his father branded his left nipple so that his burnt skin would look like the face of a raccoon. (His father was a drunk and enjoyed displays of power that, for whatever reason, Eugene failed to learn were bad.)

Second, Eugene eats his toe and fingernail clippings because he believes, as a man of God, throwing away skin is an insult to the lord. Nobody taught him this, mind you. It's something he figured out on [his] own. It's a good thing nobody ever told him that most of what he vacuums up in his home is dead skin or he'd be slurping down the contents of every vacuum bag in his home.

Third, and finally, Eugene has—and allow me to apologize in advance for sharing this horrible fact—84 pairs of Crocs. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. He has an entire walk-in closet devoted to them. I think he might be the personifcation of the former state of Florida. He hasn't ever been addicted to bath salts but he was murdered so the theory holds up for the most part.