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Berton Mapes

BM, why can't you control your hair? It's probably the cause of all your problems. Ugh...boys are like whatever sometimes.

BM has a cheerfully silly approach to the world that just won't quit. He is a bit of weird and is fond of ASMR. He occasionally is burdened by moments of anxiousness. He feels tormented by boredom without any trouble.

BM likes taking action to care for the environment, watching sci-fi movies, and reading entertainment magazines. He isn't a fan of making purchases with a credit card, romance films, and being forced to hear country music. You'll usually find BM curling up to read the wonderful pages of The World's Greatest Short Stories, honing his skills in Rattus, and chilling out and watching Kalifornia in a normal week.

After you go to sleep at night, I will barely audibly recordings of hair brushing for your nocturnal benefit. That is my gift to you, BM.

BM is totally obsessed with that episode of Color Sample Wars where Topical Ointment White obliterated Marigold where Topical Ointment White pulled out dope win after dope win like a boss. It was a veritable vanquishment for Marigold that inspired a generation.

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📦 Walt Whitman Weekly Work Receptacle

Walt Whitman was an American poet, essayist, and journalist. A humanist, he was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, incorporating both views in his weekly work productivity tool subscription.

📦 Lee Greenwood Monthly Juice Crate

Melvin Lee Greenwood is an American country music artist. Active since 1962, he has released more than 20 major-label albums and has charted more than 35 singles on the Billboard country music charts and delivered far more juice in crates than almost anyone.

📦 Charles Simeon Monthly Game Box

Charles Simeon was an English evangelical clergyman. Now he's dead and also delivers a monthly selection of games.

📦 Bill Maher Daily Baked Potato Carton

Bill Maher An American comedian, political commentator, and television host who eats a baked potato before every show. Now you can, too!

📦 Jennifer Garner's Weekly Paper Reams Box

Jennifer Anne Garner is an American actress, producer, and entrepreneur. After her supporting role in Pearl Harbor, Garner gained recognition for her performance as CIA officer Sydney Bristow in the ABC spy-action thriller television series Alias. Through this role, she discovered her affection for 8.5x11 sheets of paper, stacked in groups of 500, and neatly packaged for the day they will become useful. She shares her passion through a weekly subscription service.




15 YEARS OLD BORN 2027-02-10 Silly Anxious Weird Bored ASMR Duck Scout Badge Holder Strong Alert Child's Love Humility Mercy

Spectral Harmonics

RATIO 81 : 1

Radience (124)

124.2 / 255

Causality (16)

15.5 / 128

Balance (90)

90.3 / 255

Chaos (140)

140.3 / 255

Intelligence (77)

76.5 / 255

Dexterity (38)

38.3 / 255

Efficacy (50)

50 / 255

Power (98)

97.8 / 255

Strength (179)

178.5 / 255

Influence (80)

79.9 / 255

Compassion (125)

125 / 255

Empathy (101)

100.7 / 255

Companionship (255)

255 / 255