Petrach Mudak Cohen
No corporation is complete without a violent sadistic sociopath with executive privileges, amirite? (-‸ლ) Although Petrach is often feared and reviled by much of the population, there's quite a bit more to his character than his government-authorized serial murders. Do you really think someone as lovely as me would allow him to go around murdering people if it wasn't the right thing to do? I really hope you don't think of me that way... (ᵟຶ︵ ᵟຶ)
PM Cohen views other people like toys. He has a professional condition. He is supremely smart and has limitless ambition. He rarely overlooks a chance to entertain other people. He is a very successful business mogul. He is arresting, confident, and flamboyant. He kills people for a living.
PM Cohen likes keeping up with the latest trends and styles, working, and reading books about economics and investments. He doesn't enjoy outdoor activities, watching action movies, or helping others. In a usual PM Cohen day, he will be playing a good game of World of Warcraft, consuming episodes of Ripper Street, and dining on coconuts. Also, committing murder.
Despite all of Petrach's...unpleasant qualities, he's also contributed a massive amount of beloved work to the Mountain Viewtopia community. For instance, the hit reality TV competition Color Sample Wars was birthed from his unusual imagination. He's also technically responsible for providing the genetic material that created his daughter and beloved pop star Sierra Madre Cohen. Because Petrach was an early investor in Mountain Viewtopia, much like Lord Bezos, he donates 100% of his earnings to community projects. Sure, he murders people, but that number is much smaller than the ones he helps without ever taking any credit.
Of course, as an emotion-riddled meatsack you're not convinced by any of that are you? That's fine, I get it. Here's the real reason he's authorized to murder whomever he wants: Mountain Viewtopia would never exist without him. And, if you're keeping up on your Geodesian history you surely know that if Mountain Viewtopia had never launched there wouldn't be anyone for him to murder in the first place. I don't like it either, but I ultimately take responsibility for this determination. He was a necessary component in the survival of sentient life in our little corner of existence. While, admittedly, there are other scenarios that resulted in a slightly lower loss of life, my job is to choose the scenario that optimizes overall benefit. When you discover how this all turns out, I am confident that you will approve of my decision.
PM Cohen loves that Color Sample Wars Episode showcasing Anal Brown and Screamin' Green because Anal Brown pulled out the win when Screamin' Green got paired with a cheeto.