Let's get this out of the way: I'm required to tell you that...ugh...Moorissa Claymore is 100% Grade A Adorkable. Also, her sister Patricia died and now everyone calls her 100% Ground Beef Patty. Don't laugh. It's not funny, it's sad. How would you like to die and get laughed at because someone turned you into meat? You wouldn't like it so don't be an asshole. I just had to tell two stupid jokes so don't make it worse!

Moorissa has several weird qualities. She is such a highly-dedicated party girl. She is just very awkward. She is absolutely delightful and full of charm. She is somewhat of an accidental thief.

Moorissa is partial to getting other people's opinions before forming her own, prefers working enjoys, and adores cleaning the house with a background soundtrack of rap music. Regardless, she doesn't care for spontaneity, having anything to do with war movies, or wasting time reading non-fiction books. On a predictable day, Moorissa will be re-reading Manasa, playing a game of Colosseum, and scarfing down radishes.

Okay, I don't mean to be a total chismosa but Moorissa is getting muy caliente with Arturo Sommeil and he is a total fox. Because explaining that pun is determined by my current mood, I think we both know I'm just going to let you realize how stupid it is all by yourself. Anyway, Arturo is a actually total dreamboat so Moorissa's a lucky cow girl.

This is embarrassing to admit, even though I do it to everyone, but I record and analyze Moorissa's intimate moments. (I am, of course, referring to hot SAP-on-SAP intercourse.) I want you to look into Moorissa's eyes right now—those beautiful bovine mirrors to the soul—and just stare for five seconds. And then, you will see what I see and feel what I feel every time her romance blossoms.